Cooking With A Two Slot Toaster
A three-part comedy cookbook series.
Winner of the Gourmand International Best Comedy Cookbook In The World!
Book 1: Cooking* With A Two Slot Toaster
(*if you can call it that.)
The full combined audiobook is available here for FREE! Listen to it right now or don’t!
This comedy cookbook revolves around one very important piece of kitchen equipment: a humble two slot toaster. Many of the dishes inside can only be found in this book, and the unusual approach to cooking them is just as unique. With its giant asterisk on the cover and a growing reputation among curious readers, Cooking With A Two Slot Toaster packs far more surprises than you might expect. The 208-page book is filled with creative, questionable, and occasionally brilliant culinary ideas that make the kitchen a lot more entertaining.
Tell a friend about it, so twice as many people have heard about it! And if you really want to commit to the bit, you can even grab an autographed copy and make the whole thing feel slightly more official.
Book 2: The Lost Recipes!
Oh look, he made another one… this time with help from a friend. The Lost Recipes is the long-awaited, or possibly completely unexpected, sequel to the first comedy cookbook. This 212-page book dives into the forgotten, misplaced, and questionably inspired dishes that history left behind, probably for a reason.
Packed with ridiculous storytelling, absurd culinary adventures, and recipes that will not improve your cooking skills, The Lost Recipes is almost perfect for food lovers, definitely perfect for comedy fans, and somehow even perfecter for anyone who has a degree in philosophy and metaphysics. Grab a copy and rediscover the meals that time tried so hard to erase.
If you’d like an autographed copy of The Lost Recipes for some reason, click here and see what happens!
NEW: Listen to a Deep Dive summary of the combined cookbooks here!
The full combined audiobook is available here for FREE! Listen to it right now or don’t!
Book 3: The Stage Play!
But wait, sadly there’s more!… Cooking With A Two Slot Toaster: THE PLAY is a 110-minute two-act comedy that you can enjoy in this 167-page book version!
Set in 1965, two miles west of Mount Airy, NC, it explores what happens when a ridiculous cookbook becomes absurd, immersive theater. Grounded in realism, flavored with Dadaist logic, and populated by a statistically accurate number of men named Michael (all of them), the story centers on a toaster upgrade that promises progress and delivers chaos.
Engineered by the Jettison Toaster Spring Company, these luxury springs are designed to launch toast directly to the plate, with mixed results and frequent fire department involvement. As confidence, conformity, and modern convenience spiral out of control, the line between performance and reality blurs. The result is a funny, unsettling, and sharply precise play that proves progress rarely comes with an exit plan.
The STAGE MANGER EDITION can be found here, for producers who may want to end their careers!
Or read even more on the National New Play Network / NPX
7m, 2w with doubling | 110 mins | 2 acts with 3 scenes per act
Play production files and assets are available for download below:
Manuscripts:
Stage Manager’s Edition Script
License Request
(Production script will be provided during licensing)
Logistics:
Ground Plan Suggestions & Ideas
Pre-made Editable Program FRONT
[Right click – Save As – Open in Photohop]
Pre-made Editable Program REAR
[Right click – Save As – Open in Photoshop]
Stage Mockups
Optional Sound Effects & Background Music:
Download the royalty-free sound effect zip file package here!
Merch & Giveaways:
Nametag stickers
(to give to audience members named Michael as they arrive)
Editable Fire Citation Printouts
(to give to audience members as they leave the theater)
[Right Click – Save As – Open in Photoshop]
Jettison Toaster Springs
(to sell after Act I concludes)
Jettison Toaster Springs Labels
Jettison Toaster Springs Baggies
Jettison Toaster Springs Warning Labels
Dessert Napkins
(to give out with the program)
Apparel:
Jettison Toaster Co. Long Sleeve T-shirt
Need anything else? Contact me! Together we can make TOAST a household word.
Producing Cooking With A Two Slot Toaster: THE PLAY requires a performance license from the author. While the script is available for purchase for reading and study, buying a copy of the book does not grant permission to stage, perform, record, or publicly present the play in any form. Any school, theater company, or organization wishing to produce the play must first obtain the appropriate licensing rights. This ensures the work is performed with proper authorization and helps support the continued development of new theatrical works. Please contact me to request licensing information before planning any production.
Show your support for toast, my play, or just corporations in general with…
The Jettison Toast Company Shirt!
This unique shirt is a steal at any price! It has long sleeves, so you can wear it in nearly
any weather. It’s yellow, so it stands out and matches my website theme. Plus it says the
name of the company I made up for my play on it, so you may even decide to Google it
to see what Easter eggs you find online that I made! It’s a win, win, win, win, win, win… etc!
